Monologue Jokes September 3rd-9th, 2020

1. Scientists found bone cancer in a dinosaur commonly found in humans….

   …. Barney has a 3% chance of survival :(

2. Scientists found bone cancer in a dinosaur commonly found in humans….

   …. Because that’s how slow our healthcare system is.

3. Republican operatives are working to get Kanye West on the presidential ballot…

   …. They reportedly wanted to work for a candidate that wasn’t constantly saying crazy shit.

4. Joe Biden said that the black community “wasn’t diverse in thought”

   ….. Which goes with his new campaign slogan “Somehow still less malarkey than the other guy.”